Asked what advice she would give to women in similar situations such as hers she says: “Don’t do it. Don’t enter into close relationships with the other sex when you’re married, even if it starts out as strong friendship. Unless it is a mutual friend, and the friend is present in your everyday life in clear sight to your husband and is not a secret, don’t do it. If you think you have to keep this relationship a secret from your spouse, best friends, and family, it is not a relationship you should be having,” she says.

Naturally. “Furin”—the sort of love that’s supposedly off-limits to the married—has been much in and around the news since celeb announcer Mona Yamamoto was spotted last month at a love hotel with married Yomiuri Giants slugger Tomohiro Nioka. Big deal, you might say, but she (who had been through all this once before) lost her anchor spot on Fuji TV’s new news program “Sakiyomi,” and he was suspended for a time. So in that sense, if in no other, it is a big deal." What is the point of getting involved with a man that is married or has a girlfriend? I just don't get it. Fast forward to almost four years later now, and it took a good three years for things to finally normalise and fall into place. There is still the odd day when the incident would be brought up, but it has reduced so much in frequency,” she notes. I had forgotten to delete a message. But when he found out he was livid. And rightly so. He was so, so angry and told me he was going to take my child away from me and file for divorce. That was the first time I realized the gravity of what I had done,” she says. In a survey conducted by Rize Clinic, a chain of hair removal salons, in October 2018, 531 men and women between the ages of 20-49 were asked about their experiences with adultery.

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And even though the survey revealed that married women who cheated were more interested in sex (27.6%) than appeasing their loneliness (26%), several respondents in the video felt that it's men who mostly cheat to satisfy a physical urge, while women are more emotionally invested and perhaps already looking for an end to their current relationship. This led to some of the men’s conclusion that women who cheat are worse. However, how does one start to fix something that may seem beyond the point of repair, after such an upheaval? Meanwhile, I kept listening to a lot of TedTalks and lectures on extramarital affairs, and on the mentality of cheating and how it happened and I heard something very interesting that was like a revelation to me,” she notes. My husband never held my hand, in public or in private. Random hugs and kisses never happened. The only touch I experienced was during sex. And there was a lot of it, but it was not very satisfactory at all. I just wanted to feel.. loved I guess. Feel human almost,” she notes. She shares that on one of the numerous lectures that she listened on the science of cheating, one relationship expert pointed out that sometimes people cheat not because they are turning away from their partner, but because they are turning away from the person that they had become. It isn’t as much as looking for another person but looking for another “self,” needing to feel alive again.

My wife has amazing intuition,” says a 40-year-old Tokyo company employee. “I started going out with this woman I met at work. She’s 10 years younger than me. Anyway, one day I’m at home cutting my nails, and all of a sudden my wife says, ‘What’re you so happy about?’ I said, ‘What?’ She says, ‘You’re humming. That’s not like you.’ I wanted to fix what I ruined, but also make it better because it was not a good relationship pre-affair, to begin with,” she notes.I don't care if my boyfriend goes to a soapland as long as I don't know about it. It’s not cheating, it’s just what Japanese guys do." But that's really no more than a personal thing to me. I really don't feel comfortable extending what's good for me and my wife to all of humanity. IF these salarymen want to have affairs, well, they have every right to do so and little concern to me. 0

The first thing she did was to sever ties and bonds with her affair partner, and vow and uphold the promise of never communicating with him ever again. Both Kumiko and Kenichi refuse to talk about the subject, not wanting to burden the other with their sexual troubles. Kenichi continues frequenting the soapland, telling his masseuse sex is purely physical and has nothing to do with love. Meanwhile, Kumiko falls into a deep depression, meeting random men at love hotels, going through the motions of adultery while deeply frustrated she fails to make love to Kenichi, the only one who she ever truly felt a connection to. The satisfaction I get for getting what I want is somewhat shallow in comparrison to the deep sense of gratification that I get for providing. Its a temporary alleviating of immediate need (food, fast cars, fast women) as compared to lasting fullfillment of a deeply personal motive -- the love of a good women, my family, community and county,

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It is never okay to cheat. If you are being abused (physically or mentally), leave the relationship rather than cheat. Cheating opens up a whole new can of worms, one that will change not only your husband’s life but also yours drastically,” she adds.