She uses factual reference from various studies to back up points, but also interviews with a variety of people affected by a lack of proper sex-positive knowledge plus her own anecdotal references; this makes it a very accessible read and one which should be made widely available. This book is certainly out on a limb in terms of how much is written about some of the topics the author covers - which is definitely part of the point she is making. Sophia Smith Galer is a multi-award-winning journalist, working as Senior News Reporter for VICE World News. Imagine my shock when I read that a Woman in one of these Gulf States, committed suicide after she had sex for the first time with her husband, but she didn't bleed, so he disputed her virginal status, and she killed herself. and how a healthy attitude towards sex does not need to be in direct opposition to religious belief.

If we want sexual 'freedom', then it's essential we identify the ways in which sex myths continue to be upheld in the 21st century. Losing It is a very informative book, aiming to dispel various myths surrounding virginity, sex, sexuality and relationships. In accordance with Jewish law, the man pays a fine to his wife’s father and is forced to remain married to her for the rest of his life. Facebook sets this cookie to show relevant advertisements to users by tracking user behaviour across the web, on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin. There was another, different response to Reno Omokri’s tweet, hidden among its many replies: ‘And what about men … if men have had premarital sex, what makes them worthy of marrying a virgin?

All I know is that, in among the other sex education I had access to at school – free cinema tickets if we took chlamydia tests, and being given condoms – the Special Glue woman solidified the idea that sexual promiscuity was shameful, that my virginity was one of the most valuable things I possessed, and that my future sexuality was my husband’s, and not mine. The section on asexuality felt only surface deep and I still didn't feel it was a subject I actually understood once I'd finished reading, whereas the section on vaginismus seemed to go on forever and could have been shortened substantially. This book is the sex ed you wished you had at school, from unpacking FGM, to why ‘virginity’ is bullshit, and how the patriarchy just loves to bring women down. She hasn’t got any money, but she has something else that she thinks might be of value – her virginity.

Galer begins by discussing the dimsal level of sex education in UK schools before covering a myth per chapter. Women swipe right less than men do and because of the way Tinder’s algorithm works, a man of average attractiveness can only expect to be liked by slightly less than 1 per cent of women.

Needless to say, even those of us who think we speak about first-time sex in an open-minded way are still probably quite close-minded about what the definition of virginity loss actually is, which is something we will unpack in more detail in Chapter 4. After reading and thoroughly enjoying books like Rough last year, my interest was immediately piqued when I saw this book announced on Twitter ✨ Sophia Smith Galer dismantles seven myths about sex that are widespread today, and dives into the issues surrounding sex education. No matter that the school spent the rest of the time telling us to study hard so that we could get into top universities and careers. The 103 third parties who use cookies on this service do so for their purposes of displaying and measuring personalized ads, generating audience insights, and developing and improving products. I know that they didn’t affect lots of the girls in the year, who sniggered, laughing her archaism off for what it was.

So, what is the effect of growing up around the idea that you’re only worth as much as your sexual status, because your religion – the moral code you and your community cling to – told you so? Women like Agatha became patron saints whose stories were taught in churches; they were heralded as heroines and used as examples of idealised female identity to young women. While most heterosexual women would say that many things other than looks and power can make a man attractive, dating reveals uncomfortable truths that reinforce these gender scripts. Remembering my school days of terrible sex education of bananas, condoms and only one teacher who was confident enough to really teach the subject at my school I realised just how much a book like this is needed and how much even though I have taught myself alot, how much I didn't know or didn't really think about enough - Sophie talks you through all this like you are in this together throughout and I really appreciate it.i can't wait for the day when books like this are no longer necessary because young people are taught more than the bare minimum to ensure their sexual wellbeing. And – hauntingly – why were our virginities, either in our own performances of sexual inexperience, or simply their perceptions of it, part of our appeal well into the twenty-first century? When mates came over, their eyes would focus on Ben and Hildon’s names as the two firmly single men of the house. Some chapters are better and more fully developed than others, but ultimately I think I was craving a more rigorous and investigative book than Losing It ever professed to be.

It is tempting to deploy the word ‘incel’ freely here, especially when the security threat that involuntary celibate ideology poses seems to be increasing and when it feels like governments aren’t taking it seriously enough, but this chapter demands nuance and radical empathy in a polarised social media climate that often deprives us of them.While the world’s largest religions usually demand chastity for men and women, there is a catch; in lived practice, religious ideology is often responsible for demanding virginity more from women than of men. There is no discussion of how virginity is a social construct, how these doctors are carrying out a human rights abuse, and how well these women are protected. Ben says now that he didn’t mind being the butt of jokes; he was confident that his were funnier anyway, and didn’t degrade anyone in the process either. You may have also listened to the song ‘Fifteen’ from Taylor Swift’s second album, in which she sings the lyrics: ‘Abigail gave everything she had / To a boy who changed his mind / And we both cried. In limited curriculums that don’t have the time or funding to explain how power and gender affect our sex lives, there is often little room for addressing the virginity myth head-on – the idea that virginity still attributes value to women.